If you don’t have anything nice to say….

I’m probably misquoting, or misattributing, but I think it was Eleanor Roosevelt (and not Dorothy Parker, who it sounds more like) who said:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t sit next to me.

Well, whichever wonderful woman of the past said it, this post is dedicated to that unattractive(?) trait in so many of us, certainly me–the pleasure we take in saying bad things about others.

While watching the Oscars and the red carpet show, I had some rather catty thoughts I’d like to share.

First, I used to think Nicole Kidman was beautiful. The sad thing is, I’d be willing to wager that sans Botox , she still is beautiful. Truly beautiful women don’t become “not beautiful” as they age. They simply become older. Their beauty matures, deepens. It makes me so sad to see a woman like Nicole Kidman all frozen and paralysed like that. She looks fine until she goes for a smile that reaches for something beyond demure. Nicole, take a look at Helen Mirren, or Jodi Foster who’s five years older than you and doesn’t look all chemically enhanced. (Maybe she just has a better plastic surgeon, but I don’t think so.) IMHO a few wrinkles look more attractive than frozen faces or over pumped lips. And don’t these women earn their living by emoting? Why would they put a poison in their faces that inhibits their ability to show emotions?

I first noticed Nicole’s “new look” during the Oprah Oscar special when Nicole was talking to Russell Crowe. She looked frozen. Scary. She’s very naturally pretty. She’s got great bone structure. I can’t believe she wouldn’t still be beautiful without all the chemical enhancements.

Leonardo DiCaprio… First, been a HUGE fan of this boy/man as an actor since What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, but did he spend too much time in the sun or have a really bad spray tan or bronzing accident? Okay, he usually looks super-pasty, so maybe it’s just the contrast from his usual. But having pasty skin myself, I’m going to vote for the spray tan or bronzing accident theory. Leo, we pasty white folks all wish we could tan. We can’t. Don’t pretend that you can. (Actually, he looks much less freaky in this photo than he did on the TV camera with his forehead six shades darker than the rest of his face and forty shades darker than his ears.

On a back-handed compliment note… (Kind of fits with this mean-spirited post) Glad to see Cameren Diaz with a more reasonable colour of brown hair. We all know she’s not a blonde. She looks good blonde, but that ultra brown almost black hair did not suit her. This is so much more flattering IMHO.

How rude was Ryan Seacrest to ask Jennifer Hudson about her weight and her workout schedule. I wanted to kick him. He’s a jerk. Did he ask the skinny girls about their barfing schedules?

Onto the musical numbers now… Jennifer Hudson and Anika Noni Rose proved once again that Beyonce is more about her looks and booty than her voice. Not that the girl can’t sing, but compared to her co-stars, not so much. There’s just something a little cold and flat about her tone where Jennifer’s is rich and full.

Okay, enough bitchiness.

I am a bit ashamed to make this post about this year’s broadcast in particular. While I get what people are saying about it being a bit quiet or dull… I really liked the overall good-naturedness of it, a reflection of Ellen DeGeneres’ personality. Like showing all the nominees at the beginning in those clips and having them all stand up to take a bow before any of them suffered the disappointment of not winning. I really liked that.

  9 comments for “If you don’t have anything nice to say….

  1. February 26, 2007 at 7:06 pm

    Great bitchin’, Maureen! I devoured every moment of the red carpet presentation, too. Loved Ellen Degeneres. She did a great job.

    I thought Leo looked good, but only because I love the hair slicked back thing on men. I LOVED Clint Eastwood, but I also love the older white haired man thing, too. Yes, Nicole looks overdone. She’s had a lot of injections lately or maybe a mini face lift? Skin’s stretched tighter, that’s for sure. She should look at Helen Mirren or Meryl for examples of ageless beauty.

    I agree with you about Beyonce. She’s not my favorite, although last night she seemed to be trying harder to get that Mary J. Blige fabulousness going. I was so disappointed with Jennifer Hudson’s train wreck of a dress (not the great red number she wore singing). To think Valentino or whoever it was made the dress for her, thought dreck brown would make her look good. Shows what happens when men dress women. The dress didn’t do justice to her cleavage either. You could tell she didn’t feel good until she slipped into the red number.

  2. February 27, 2007 at 12:39 am

    HA! Nicole Kidman is so scary looking — that Oprah chat thing she was like a strange “I like being brave” weird blast from Victorian Englad or something — do strangely demure and proper. Freaky.

    I didn’t notice the Leo DiCaprio tan — I was so swept up in my new found love. Beyonce was oversinging and trying so hard but I liked that she was doing that. And I totally agree Maureen – it was a little blase but it was feel good — and unpolitical which was so nice– I did feel warm and fuzzy.

  3. February 27, 2007 at 1:06 am

    The only part I watched was the Dreamgirls song section. Totally agree about Beyonce. Sports Illustrated kinda says it all, don’t you think? She’s all about being a brand, not a singer.

  4. February 27, 2007 at 1:09 am

    I loved Ellen. I hated Beyone’s bad looking bridesmaid minty dress. Also Kristin Dunst’s dress was wrong, wrong wrong.

    God, I love the Oscars.

  5. February 27, 2007 at 1:51 pm

    “If you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!”
    –Clairee (Olympia Dukakis), from Steel Magnolias

    One of my favorite quotes, and words I live by. 😉

  6. February 27, 2007 at 2:15 pm

    The fact that Leo was so splotchy made me think that his tan was natural (as in from spending time outside than laying on the tanning bed). My hubby gets really dark on his forehead (same sloping angle as Leo’s, it catches sun like a solar panel) and his ears end up the palest part of his face (his neck doesn’t get as much sun either).

    At least he had enough brains to go out in the sun clean shaven. The hubby likes to grow a beard (as best he can) and then his chin ends up pale. Looks like…

  7. February 27, 2007 at 3:30 pm

    Michelle… I did a little digging (cause I got curious) and it looks like the playwright for Steel Magnolias paraphrased a quote not by Eleanor Roosevelt as I thought, but Theodore Roosevelt’s daughter Alice.

    If you can’t say something good about someone, sit right here by me.
    Alice Roosevelt Longworth

  8. February 27, 2007 at 8:38 pm

    I loved the Oscars – it was on from 2.30pm for us, so I got to see most of it. And I thought Ellen did a great job.

    And I so agree with you on the botox issue. Nicole looked so weird… like a doll.

  9. February 27, 2007 at 10:02 pm

    I had no idea Nicole did that to herself. I feel bad for her, because you were right she was beautiful.

    I love Leo. Burned or pasty. Yummy…

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